Stop Trying to Find Your Identity in Christ!
Why the most well-meaning Christian advice might be making you more anxious, not less
A note on sources: This article draws heavily from Pastor Rory Shiner's brilliant talk¹ on identity. While I'll try to give him proper credit for his insights and avoid misquoting him, his talk catalysed a bunch of thinking I've been doing in this space for ages. What follows feels a bit like a rip-off of his sermon, but I thought I'd have a go at putting down some of the ideas his talk sparked.
There's a phrase that gets thrown around Christian circles like a spiritual cure-all: "Find your identity in Christ." Struggling with comparison? Find your identity in Christ. Wrestling with career disappointment? Find your identity in Christ. Anxious about your appearance, relationships, or future? You guessed it—find your identity in Christ.
It sounds so biblical, so wise, so... right. And in many ways, it can be helpful. But what if our particular cultural approach to identity, even when we Christianise it, might sometimes be creating more anxiety than peace?
The Identity Trap
Pastor Rory Shiner recently gave a brilliant talk¹, pointing out something we've all missed: the word "identity" barely existed before the 1960s. It's not biblical language. As Shiner notes, it emerged from sociology and psychology and exploded into popular usage only after the cultural revolution of the sixties.
When we tell someone to "find their identity in Christ," Shiner argues we're essentially playing by the rules of expressive individualism—the modern obsession with discovering and expressing your "true self." We've just swapped out the noun. Instead of finding yourself in your career, sexuality, or nationality, find yourself in Jesus. As he puts it, we've "just swapped out the nouns" without questioning whether the methodology is valid.
But here's the problem: we haven't solved anything. We've just given people a new source of anxiety.
The Spiritual Hypochondriac
Here's what typically happens when someone tries to "find their identity in Christ": they become hyperaware of their identity. They constantly monitor whether they're succeeding at this spiritual project. They examine their motivations, analyse their progress, and worry they're not doing it right.
Sound familiar? It's the same anxious self-focus that characterises our identity-obsessed culture, just with Christian vocabulary.
Think of it like a broken leg. When your leg is broken, you're constantly aware of it. You think about it, baby it, measure your pain levels throughout the day. But when your leg is healthy? You don't walk around thinking, "Wow, my leg feels great today!" You don't think about your leg at all—you're too busy walking places.
The same principle applies to anxiety and mental health. When you're anxious, you're constantly taking your emotional temperature, rating yourself on a scale from one to ten. But when you're healthy, you're not thinking about anxiety—you're focused on loving others, pursuing meaningful work, enjoying life.
Our cultural obsession with identity creates a kind of spiritual hypochondria. We become so focused on the state of our identity that we lose sight of everything else, including the very Person we're supposed to be finding our identity in.
What the Bible Actually Says
What if the solution isn't better identity formation but abandoning the identity quest altogether?
Shiner points to Colossians 3, where Paul doesn't tell us to find our identity in Christ. Instead, Paul tells us our life "is hidden with Christ in God." As Shiner observes, it's "descriptive language" about what we are, "not a chosen identity, but an identity that is given to you."
Then Paul does something interesting. Instead of sending us on an inward journey of self-discovery, he gives us concrete actions: "Put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Shiner notes Paul calls this "putting on the new self"—language that sounds almost like "cosplay."
This is jarring in our age of authenticity. We're told to be genuine, to express our true feelings, to live authentically. But Paul seems to suggest that Christian maturity involves what Shiner calls "a kind of humble inauthenticity"—acting like the person Christ says you are, even when you don't feel like it yet.
The Value of Identity Language
To be clear, the concept of identity isn't inherently wrong or unhelpful. For many people, especially those from marginalised backgrounds, language about identity has provided crucial vocabulary for understanding their dignity and worth. The civil rights movement, for instance, helped people discover their identity as image-bearers of God who deserved equal treatment. And certainly, reflecting on who we are in relation to God and others can be valuable.
There's much that's good about encouraging people to find security in Christ rather than in worldly achievements or social status. This redirection has helped countless people find freedom from comparison, performance anxiety, and the exhausting work of self-construction. The question isn't whether Christ should be central to our lives - of course, he should - but whether the framework of 'finding identity' is the most helpful way to get there.
The concern isn't with all identity language, but specifically with the modern tendency to make identity formation a central life project that we must solve through introspection.
Gaze Replacement, Not Identity Replacement
Here's the radical shift: instead of trying to find your worth in Christ, what if you simply stopped trying to find your worth at all?
This aligns with what Scripture consistently calls us to do. The writer of Hebrews doesn't tell us to find our identity, but to "fix our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith" (Hebrews 12:2). Paul doesn't encourage introspective identity work, but tells us that "we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory" (2 Corinthians 3:18). The transformation happens through gazing at Christ, not through self-examination.
As Paul puts it in 2 Corinthians 4:6, "God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God's glory displayed in the face of Christ." The light shines out of us, not through self-focus, but through beholding him.
When that familiar voice pipes up—the one that says you're a failure, you're not good enough, you don't measure up—instead of scrambling to find better sources of self-worth, try this: "It's not about you."
Then turn your attention elsewhere: "Show me your glory, God. Open the eyes of my heart that I might see how wonderful you are, Jesus."
This isn't about finding value in Christ instead of in your achievements. It's about recognising that the whole project of establishing your value is a distraction from what really matters, gazing at his worth, his glory, his kingdom.
But What About Reflection?
Now, this doesn't mean we abandon all self-reflection. As a pastoral supervisor, I regularly encourage my supervisees to reflect on their ministry practice. But there's a crucial difference between healthy reflection and the identity-seeking that our culture promotes.
Healthy reflection isn't about looking within yourself to find the answers to life's questions. It's not even primarily about introspection. Instead, as David Powlison taught², it's about "looking outward toward God and neighbour"—slowing down enough to gaze at who God is, so that in the light of him we see ourselves truly.
This kind of God-centred reflection is the fruit of dialogue with God. As we allow ourselves to be truly known by him, like in Psalm 139 where David says, "O Lord, you have searched me and known me," we pour out our hearts as we engage with his character, his glory, his grace. In this process, we simultaneously see where we fall short and where we are being transformed. We see ourselves as we truly are—not through navel-gazing, but as we're reflected in him.
This is fundamentally different from the modern practice of introspective identity-seeking. It's looking outward to understand inward, rather than looking inward to construct ourselves.
The Freedom of Not Being the Main Character
As Shiner suggests, perhaps the New Testament offers us something more concrete than abstract identity formation: being a "disciple of Christ," a "child of God," a "brother or sister"—roles that come with specific duties and obligations, not endless self-examination.
There's something profoundly liberating about discovering that you're not the main character in your own story. That your worth isn't a problem you need to solve. That your identity isn't a treasure you need to discover but a gift that's already been given.
When you stop being the centre of your attention, you're free to notice other things: the beauty of creation, the needs of your neighbour, the glory of God. You're free to serve without constantly examining your motives. You're free to fail without it becoming an identity crisis.
The healthy person doesn't think about their leg. The healthy Christian doesn't constantly examine their identity. They're too busy looking at Jesus and loving their neighbour.
So maybe it's time to stop trying to find your identity in Christ. Maybe it's time to simply live as someone whose identity has already been found—hidden with Christ in God, secure and settled—and get on with the joyful work of following him.
After all, it was never about you anyway.
¹ Rory Shiner, "Finding Your Identity in Christ,"
² David Powlison, "In the Last Analysis: Look Out for Introspection," CCEF, https://www.ccef.org/products/last-analysis-look-introspection